In the never-ending quest to find a really great novel, I tend to consume a lot. I don’t consume much junk–at least by my definition–anymore, because I’m past thirty-five, which was the age I stopped finishing everything I started. There’s not as much time left, and I guess I subconsciously knew that.

And every once in a while I find one that sucks me in and makes me stay up too late, read during the daytime (a strict ban in my life) and parks me on the couch when I should be doing something else like cleaning this rathole up before my mother shows up unannounced again. Or worse, my aunt.

Slick was that kind of novel. That one kept me reading through dinner, which is not technically allowed in my house. I try not to break the rules I make too often, because it sort of usurps my own authority, but with Daniel Price’s hilarity rising to yet another crescendo every time I turned a page, I pressed on in anticipation and fixed the behavior problems of the family later. Besides, at that rate of reading, we’re only talking about checking out for a day and a half. That was four years ago.

This week, joy of joys, I found Oxygen. The irony here was I had just finished reading Pushed, a non-fiction work subtitled “The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care.” Having birthed the last two babies at home myself, this was right up my alley. But it must be said that coming off the dim view of doctors to pick up a novel about a doctor, a doctor involved in a medical malpractice suit over the death of a young girl– an anesthesiologist no less, one of those doctors who in her spare time performs epidurals on laboring women in too much pain from Pit Drips to survive another second– it’s a testament to Ms. Cassella’s golden keyboards that she sucked me into the hospital again, willingly and enthusiastically.

Try reading the first page and see if her words of breathing don’t make you want more. There’s a wonderful story behind that, full of description that set my writers’ envy on full tilt, characters who have depth and breadth of fully human beings, and a gut wrenching ending that a writer with less courage would never have inflicted on her heroine.

In my opinion, few have deserved to reach that fairyland world of published fiction more in years.

A guy in my church sent this around. It’s called The Cult of House Worship by Thomas Crowther.
Favorite quote: “Fleecing little dreamers with no safety nets and no financial acumen is a terrific business, but a risky one.” You can read it here:

The Cult of House Worship

And then come back.

I think it’s interesting– mostly because of his point about predatory lending, fleecing the dreamers, so to speak. Right now they’re trying to pass a bill in Ohio that would effectively put the Check Cashers out of business, and the uproar is unbelievable. I’m writing all my reps about it, and if it passes– and the governor swears he’ll sign it– I’ll lose a third of my income within a year, since as a guy I work with said recently, it sucks that our job security is based on other people’s poverty. And perhaps some fleecing, as well.

And I will so gladly find other ways of making money, or spend less, if it meant they’d stop selling two week little dreams to all the people in my neighborhood with ‘no financial acumen’.

I’ve just found all of this interesting from the stand point of how much debt can this country carry along… and how much the entire economy is built and depends on consumerism; and since it does, the only answer seems to be that we have to make people buy more — because what else could happen? Our personal experience currently, going from debtors to savers, has me thinking about this in a microcosmic way. There’s a very real crunch in the middle where it’s like… well, no money on non-necessaries at all. (My iPod broke the week of this budgeting transformation. The one thing I could not live without. I honestly believe God was making sure I was serious. )

And since then, the only ‘items’ I’ve purchased in two weeks is a wallet, on clearance at Target, for 4.88 (5.21 with tax), because the Velcro wore out on my old one and now that I’m carrying around cash for food and gasoline, I feel the need to have a secure closure on the thing. And six pairs of socks at Big Lots, for $4.00 ($4.27 with tax) for #2 son. And one new exhaust system for a paid for car. ($310.93) That’s our consumerism for the week. So much for the Economic Stimulus payment, which is sitting in the savings account minus one exhaust system. Earning interest.

My point is that for our family now, trying to make the switch from being debtors to savers means that while in the past we spent money we didn’t have, and in the future we might spend money we do have, in between those times we’re buying one wallet, six pairs of socks, and a muffler. And I don’t think we’ll be needing mufflers for a while now.

But we will not be a family of debtors, enslaved to credit card and car payments that equal our mortgage, and threaten it besides. We are not doing much to keep the American economy going. But I couldn’t see how we could keep our family going the way it was, and I honestly don’t see how we can keep the country going as it is.

They may put the check cashers out of business in Ohio… but they can’t legislate an ethos of living within your means. Especially when it won’t help the country out of a recession, so there’s not much governmental incentive to suggest such things. Instead we send people money to get them out shopping–knowing damn well people in America spend more than they make, so of course they’ll spend more than they get.

I’m no economist, but if there’s some people like me–and much as I like to disbelieve it, I don’t think I’m terribly unique– they’re looking around and going, whoa. This is not working. Not for me, not for my family, and not for America.

And if they do something about that– what happens to our economy that is utterly dependent on them spending more than they earn?
I think there’s a crunch time in there before it gets better. Feels like it in this microcosm, I’ll tell you that. But it feels more peaceful than credit.

Ironically, from what I’ve been reading lately, the last time people couldn’t bear to go into debt? After the Great Depression.

That’s not what the article’s really about. It’s really about greed. But I do think it ties together.

April 1st dawned gray and chilly, but the dreariness of the Ohio weather would not dampen our enthusiasm nor deter us from our mission. The schedule was packed full; only a brief half-hour available at noon to fulfill our quest. A scramble of activity before and after, but the mission deserved our sacrifices, and Scott Sigler, our unwavering devotion.

Soon, we spotted the destination, the site where the dawning of the new era would be manifested. There was no parade, no brass band playing to herald the arrival of the new age. All appeared less than extraordinary.

We knew different. Inside, we checked the places of honor, disappointed that the likes of lesser artists were displayed in plain view. Even the custodians of the symbol of the new dynasty seemed unaware of the true value of the object we sought, the true value of what they stored inside their sacred walls, blind to the power it represented, and frankly, not even certain of its exact location.

But we would be deterred. Like all great pieces of art, its worth was under appreciated and underestimated. Perhaps our seeking demonstrated to the custodians that proper respect should be paid. (Or at least slightly rearranging the table to move the stack of books to the corner spot. It was something.)

Our quest was over. The new era has begun. We have witnessed –and help to make– history in a Barnes and Noble’s bookstore.

We are INFECTED.

I didn’t even want to look at the last time I posted here, it’d just make me feel guilty. I’ve been flip-flopping between writing this book– or ditching it and writing another one I’m thinking about– or pushing everybody involved to get the podcast going on my second novel. So as is par for the course for me, I’m sort of doing all three and not very well.

I think since I’m feeling ambivalent about Iced Out, which is normal midway through a novel, I’m losing touch with it. Also got stuck, so that’s probably why I started feeling ambivalent in the first place. Then since I was stuck, the question was whether I should even be doing any of this, is it worth the effort, am I any good at all, yada yada. My friend Nick calls all this boring-to-everyone-in-earshot garbage “Artist’s Angst.” He’s a singer/songwriter and very experienced in the condition and its symptoms, and since he’s actually quite wonderful at what he does, I imagine there’s no correlation between the angst and ability levels. Or maybe it’s inverse– considering the number of people who get rejected at American Idol tryouts, all the while protesting: “I know I can sing!”

I know I can’t sing, so I’m angst-free on that front. As for the writing front, I can’t say.

Meanwhile, I thought I’d throw up a chapter, see if anyone cared, and then make some pizza for my kids.

I will be blogging soon– with pictures this time– because Scott Sigler’s amazing novel Infected will be in bookstores on April 1st. Danny & I are going to B&N on his lunch hour to buy it and prove to Scott that even Buckeye fans have their good points too.

Okay, here it is: Lucky 13. As it turns out, this is kind of lucky, because this scene was the first one I thought of, before I had an idea for the book. My friend Lennox once made a comment about wanting to be in a movie where all his character did was make funny comments about what was going on around him. Whether Henry has turned out to be funny is not a question for me to answer, but I woke up in the middle of the night soon after, with an image of three guys sitting in a restaurant booth, griping about the weather. What the hell they were doing there, I didn’t know until quite some time later, but fortunately I wrote it down that night.

If you like it, let me know! Iced Out, Chapter 13

I got a new phone, new company. And I did not research my phone well enough–or the company. Everything went smoothly enough with the transition, number ported over, etc., although the wait was kind of long (not Net10’s fault, really). I’m happy with the price, I don’t want a contract, and the phone is nice enough. Nothing too fancy.

But–and I know this is lame–I was very annoyed to find that while this is a web enabled phone, Net10 has the access blocked. Kind of a pisser. I was all set to upload my ringtones into the phone–and after paying for the web access, one minute standard deduction immediately, plus more as time ticked by–nothing. 404 forbidden error. Like I’m trying to hack into the Pentagon 0r something.

This is not advertised by Net10 by the way. They’ve got their own ringtones, and they charge 2 bucks each for them.

After two days–and really, that’s too much effort trying to solve this problem, and that obsessiveness is an issue I’m trying to deal with, just apparently not today–Crostel.com helped me figure out a way around. Working through their site for a while, I found out that you can send anything you want to this phone– you just have to email it to yourself. Because multimedia messaging (mms) is unrestricted. Nice.

I’ve seen lots of messages on boards about how can I get my own ringtones on my Net10 phone–and everybody’s giving out wrong answers–but it’s actually quite easy. Which is always the case, it’s just the getting there is so complicated. And it depends on the phone. Mine only takes polyphonic (midi files). There’s loads of those online, download away. Then email the file as an attachment to your phone via mms. From what I can figure, Net10 is piggybacking AT&T wireless, so first try (your 10 digit phone number) @mms.att.net and see if you get the message. Then you’ll be able to open it, download for a mere 2.5 minutes (25 cents) and save it as a ringtone. Or a picture, if you want one of those instead. If that address doesn’t work, and you don’t know the stuff after the @ symbol, send a multimedia message from your phone to your email address. Your email will display the from address with all that helpful information in it. But I’ll bet you a ringtone it’s number@mms.att.net (and for plain text, number@txt.att.net).

So now we got melodic interpretations of Bone Thugs n Harmony on the phone, and I must find something more productive to do for the rest of the day.

My mother keeps reminding me to get online and order coupons for those set-top converter boxes for Digital Television signals. (I know this sounds backwards, as usually it’s the kids telling their parents.) She’s concerned that the government will run out of coupons, and our TV’s won’t work in 2009. We don’t have cable, and our TVs are old. So we’re the prime candidates for TV failure.

Her concerns are valid. First on the TV not working: I read an article today in which a guy said when he tries to explain this new DTV system, everyone laughs at the suggestion that their TVs will stop working on February 17, 2009. They’ll probably stop laughing, but if my TV goes out, it won’t be a great loss. (Wait, that’s American Idol season, isn’t it? Scratch that last thought.)

So today I went onto the website to explore the coupon issue. And “issue” is really the correct word for this fiasco. First: limited number of $40 coupons. Interesting. 22.25 million coupons for Americans available, two per household. There are (by my last reading of some blog) 266 million tv sets in America. Now, a lot of these receive digital TV signals already, and theoretically retailers have been required to sell only dtvs since 2007. (I’m sure they just sent all their analog sets back or donated them to charity, rather than continue selling them.) Either way, sounds like a severe shortage. A positive note: after those 22.25 million coupons run out, 11.25 million coupons will be available to consumers who rely exclusively on over-the-air broadcast TV. So if the coupons run out, and the only way you catch TV signals is by wiggling the rabbit ears and hoping the clouds are thin on American Idol night, you get a second chance.

Therefore, due to this shortage of coupons, the smart money is on applying right now, correct? Not so fast.

The coupons expire 90 days from the mailing date. So I apply early, and I get my coupon, I have 90 days minus mailing time to purchase my box with the coupon. The only problem is, you can’t purchase a box. There are none available.

An exaggeration. I found one– that’s right, one–set top analogue to DTV converter box available for purchase online. One model, one store, (Radio Shack) and one price of 60 bucks. Minus my 40 dollar coupons, times two TVs, that’s a forty dollar cost. With four total reviews of the product on Radio Shack’s website and absolutely no competition, this is my option right now.

What will my options be within 90 days? My fortune telling skills are so limited, it’s difficult to say. I can say this–when there’s a rush on these boxes, Radio Shack runs out– it’s just a little store, after all–and my coupon’s sitting in my wallet with the expiration day ticking closer and closer, I may be wishing I’d just ordered the coupons and bought early.

Apparently the feds will make billions selling off the broadcast spectrum after the switch to DTV. Plus with the money they save by offering time bomb coupon cards for a product that is unavailable … it’s a win-win.

If you want to read all about the DTV converter box coupon program or sign up for your coupon, go ahead. For fun, you should really check out the find a retailer near you option. Expand that search to fifty miles, and please let me know if anyone comes up with anything higher than zero.

I’m not posting the tag answers, because again, no time. Makes me crazy. I have some good quirks, too.

I do have a take-home midterm to complete this week, which looks extremely easy, except for the essay question, something about the Constitution, but at least it’s writing.

However, I am posting chapter 12, as we see what happens when Henry tries to follow through on plan B…

But this time, so late that it’ll be Tuesday, which is not actually today. I did some writing on the novel today, which is important for future releases, so that’s a good thing. Really, it is.

Also I got tagged last week, and I was planning on answering that when I posted the next chapter. That’s really why I’m putting it off.

For now though, I have to watch last week’s House episode and then tonight’s Prison Break, and then, well, it’ll be time to get ready for bed. Because how far will I get in life if I can’t keep my priorities straight?

But not too late, right?

Thanks for stopping by, Mr. Fab… I wish you’d stop whooping my ass in Trivia; however I will be more diligent to play every day in February, and thereby at least pull within throne-toppling distance.

Got busy with my daughter helping her record a ‘commercial’ for her monthly book report. Sweet music in the background, thanks to Nick’s talents.

All right, not much commentary today, but if you’ll recall, Henry–with a little help from Abby–frightened off the other criminals hovering around the jewelry in the museum, and after they left, Abby suggested visiting the gift shop, as a reward for her performance.

She just doesn’t seem all that interested in the offerings.

And now…Chapter 11.

If you like superheroes–and even if you’re not all that impressed by them, like me–there’s a darned good chance you’ll like Mur Lafferty’s podcast novel, Playing for Keeps.

(Did I just say “darned”? I can promise that no one in my own novels has ever said “darned”.)

I was going to put the audio promo up here, but wordpress says that I can’t do that unless I pay them something, so umm.. love you Mur, but here’s the link instead:
Playing for Keeps Promo

And then you can just click the play button and hear what it’s about.

Or, you can read what it’s about, right here:

Playing for Keeps is a free novel delivered via podcast in audio and PDF form. It tells the story of Keepsie Branson, a bar owner in the shining metropolis of Seventh City: birthplace of super powers. Keepsie and her friends live among egotistical heroes and manipulative villains, and manage to fall directly in the middle as people with powers, but who just aren’t strong enough to make a difference. Or that’s what they’ve been told. As the city begins to melt down, it’s hard to tell who are the good guys and who are the bad.

And then you can go listen to the first episode right now!

And you thought your Saturday night would be boring.
More Iced Out, coming Monday.